Tantra for Rekindling the Spark and Passion in Your Relationship

One of the key teachings of Tantra that can help to rekindle the spark in your relationship is that of polarity.

According to Tantra, the whole Universe is created as a result of interaction between two polar opposites, Shiva and Shakti.

Several of the important early Tantra scriptures are written as a dialogue between Shiva and Shakti.

Shiva is the polarity of Divine Masculine, and Shakti is the polarity of Divine Feminine.

In order for creation to take place the masculine and feminine need to join together in love, thus giving birth to the Universe.

This principle is everywhere throughout the universe, and is also known as yin and yang. As humans, of course, this is obviously visible as men and women. But even within each individual we have both polar opposites. We have both masculine and feminine energies within us, and the dominant pole may change and shift from moment to moment.

Polarity creates sexual attraction.

And understanding this can really help your relationship with your partner, especially if you feel that the passion is disappearing, and you want to rekindle the spark.

As an individual you have a balance of both polarities within you. And that ratio of masculine and feminine shifts around, on a sliding scale. Sometimes we may be more in our feminine and in other moments we may be more in our masculine. It often depends on the situation or circumstances we may find ourselves in at any particular given moment in our life.

But when it comes to intimacy and passion in our relationship, there needs to be polarity between the two partners. That means when you relate to your partner. In moments when you interact with him or her, you need to be in the opposite polarity to them, in order to rekindle the spark and the chemistry of attraction and passion.

Polarity, as a mechanism for creating life, is the basis of the Universe.

This is a fundamental principle of nature… a car engine won’t start if there isn’t a spark from the battery. And the battery can only generate that spark if it has the polarity of negative and positive electric charge.

The same is true for relationships.

Depolarisation leads to a loss of passion in a relationship, and loss of sexual chemistry. Depolarisation happens when both partners are channeling and relating to each other in a similar type of energy, whether that be masculine or feminine.

Tantra reminds us to recognise this polarity of masculine and feminine, both within ourselves, and between us and our partner.

The Tantric Life Podcast

Listen to the podcast episode of this topic on your preferred platform, here: E30 Tantra for Rekindling the Spark and Passion in your Relationship.

With a Tantric approach, we can learn to embody and hold our own polarity, whilst also encouraging and bringing out the opposite polarity in our partner. And by the way, this holds true for both heterosexual and gay or lesbian relationships.

In order to bring out the opposite polarity in our partner, it’s important be loving, compassionate, and accepting of their shortcomings or their imperfections. With Tantric practices we can create a safe space to allow for vulnerability, as our partner is learning to find their way internally with this process.

As tantra teacher Chantelle Raven says…

The feminine must learn to trust the wisdom of the masculine and his ability to act clearly despite her fears and emotions. The masculine must learn to worship a woman’s radiance and give her attention, presence, and compliments, despite his desire to get things done and go more inward.
Chantelle Raven, 2020.

Tantra has many beautiful practices to worship and honour the opposite polarity. In future posts we will look at some specific couples practices in which the Shakti worships the Sacred Masculine of Shiva, and Shiva worships the Sacred Feminine of Shakti.

By applying Tantra teachings to your relationship, you can rediscover love at a deeper level.

When the superficial excitement of physical attraction wanes and loses its novelty, this step of going deeper to recognise and honour the divine polarity in your partner can take your relationship to a new level.

If you do not transform, love cannot renew itself.

Tantra also invites us to strive continuously for the transformation of our awareness. To work on ourselves, to integrate our emotions, so that we may gradually remove the layers of conditioning that have been preventing us from realising our Divine nature.

This inner work of growing awareness and transformation is a huge benefit for a relationship, especially if both partners are doing their inner work.

Psychologist and Tantra teacher Blandine Wegener of Mahasiddha Yoga Thailand talks about this, relating to her own long-term tantric relationship…

A death sentence for many relationships is that they don’t embrace actively to transform. Transformation and love belong together. If you don’t transform, love can’t renew itself.
Blandine Wegener, 2020.

Essential to this transformation is to communicate and share your own inner process with your partner. This open communication builds trust and understanding. By sharing and becoming vulnerable you go through surface layers of emotions, and are able to identify the primary triggers that may be causing conflicts.

So following a Tantric path helps you to connect with your sensual, and confident essence, to connect with your polarity of the relationship, in your interactions with your partner.

By interacting with your partner from the opposite polarity, in a confident, loving, and playful way, you are able to rekindle that spark and maintain the passion and the love indefinitely.

Check out these other posts which could impact on your relationship…

The Shadow Self, Tantra, and Samskaras.

Six Core Elements of a Tantric Law of Attraction Practice.